I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
