I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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