She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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