were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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