my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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