Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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