i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
