your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
