I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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