i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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