I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
