Me. At least after what I've been through.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
