Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
