I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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