you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
