I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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