what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
