yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
