and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
