he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
