It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
ugly people sure do ruin things
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
