I'm sorry my penis didn't work
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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