Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
did i just pee glitter
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
