You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
