I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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