she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
