Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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