I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.