just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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