i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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