If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
