Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
