Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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