booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
