don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
