Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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