90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
no you cant smoke seaweed
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
