i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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