i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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