no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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