I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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