your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
