I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize