I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
