Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
