Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
