Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
