Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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