i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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