Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
