You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
