what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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