so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
