she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
