i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize