You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
