I'm jealous of your bromance
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
