if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
we should paint friendship bongs
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