He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My bed smells like the plague
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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