I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
no you cant smoke seaweed
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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