idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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