hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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