the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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