The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
