dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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