When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
be right there i have to get my cape
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
