But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
