Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
