Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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