It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You're a waste of cheezeits
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
