the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
